By Her Side
by Rachel9
Summary: Spike's feelings towards Buffy


Yay! This is my first fic that I've ever sent in here...so, be gentle towards me if you send me feedback.   
  
By Her Side  
By *~Rachel*~  
  
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Oh yes.they are ALL MINE! (Sarcastic) Haha. RIGHT.   
Rating: Do you watch the show? You can read this. Maybe PG-15ish   
Summary: A POV fic (I have problems doing these, but this is my best try) from Spike's POV about Buffy.  
Spoilers: This takes place in the 6th season, so I have spoilers for anyone who hasn't seen "The Gift," Some of the more important B/S episodes, and the rumors that are flying around for 6th season.  
Author's Notes: Signifies thoughts. Sorry for mistakes. This is un-beta-ed. I usually don't have my stories beta-read unless they're long.  
Distribution: My site, Sinister Attraction, the groups I'm sending them out to, and....anyone else can just ask me first! (I'll probably say 'yes')  
Feedback? OF COURSE!  
  
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Do you have any idea of what she does to me? Her look willingly commands me to risk everything for her. Her presence is a force that I can feel even before she steps into the same room I'm in.   
  
When she brushes her arm against mine, I go limp and feel helpless. Her touch gives me the sunlight that I haven't seen in decades and keeps me going day after day.   
  
Whenever she talks, her eyebrows are just so expressive, as though they have a life of their own. They move as she passionately talks about the new demon in town or how the Niblet is doing. When she smiles at me- yes, believe it or not she does smile at me occasionally- I feel like a shy schoolboy with a huge and never-ending crush instead of the Big Bad that I should be.   
  
Those 4 months that she was...asleep (because even I can't say "dead") were complete hell for me. I thought that I had failed her. Bloody hell, I had failed both her and the Niblet by letting them down and causing her...death. If it weren't for my promise towards Dawn, my life would have ended right then and there as I saw her body lying in front of me on that pile of ruble. She looked so peaceful.  
  
But then the lover Wiccans brought her back. They brought the Slayer back- right in front of my bloody eyes. I remember her taking a look at all of us surrounding her and she fell to her knees, screaming, "why?!" into the night sky.   
  
Truth was, the slayer didn't want to be brought back. If she would once again have to face a full life of pain, war, heartache, and fighting, then it just wasn't worth it anymore. She had served her time and now it was someone else's job. Not that I can't blame her. She was happy with her mum up in heaven.   
  
Right then and there, I knew that Buffy would have some complications dealing with her new situation. So I stuck with her. I let her cry on my shoulder, yell at me, and beat me to a bloody pulp. The poof would have been jealous. And as time passed, she started accepting me into her life more and more.   
  
Every night we went patrolling. It was as though were one more step closer towards...whatever the hell we were moving towards. I keep thinking about how far our friendship and relationship had come since the day I came back to Sunnydale.  
  
And now that I think about it some, I haven't heard "You're a pig, Spike," in almost years now.   
  
I smell her all around me. I smell that lustful Slayer's blood and vanilla shampoo mixed with citrus and flowers perfume long before she ever enters the room. It's like my sixth sense. Oh bloody hell that's all I ever think about now- how badly I want my slayer.   
  
OK, she's not *my* slayer, but I want her just as bad. Ever since she got back, I have always though of it as my responsibility to take care of her and 'Lil Bit. After all, I promised her long ago- that night that she...  
  
I'm getting off the bloody point here.  
  
We were doing the norm tonight- patrolling. It was a boring night outside, no demons anywhere, which was good because Buffy looked as though she was in no mood for patrolling. It seems that all the nasties skipped town as soon as they heard that the slayer was back on her feet- literally.   
  
I'm such a bloody poof now, I think Angel finally has some competition. But god, I just lover her so much. The way she's got so much power on the outside and so young and innocent inside. How she gets that glimmer in her eyes and she fights. And she fights like a bloody dancer- so smooth and flowing.   
  
  
"So, Slayer," I started, walking at her side as we neared her house. We walked up into the familiar front porch and stood in front of the door. It was the same old house she always had. Giles had managed to hang onto it, just in case...  
  
  
"Yeah Spike?" She asked softly.   
  
  
"We patrollin' tomorrow, love?" I asked. OK, sure I knew that we were. I just wanted to stay with her as long as possible.  
  
  
"You know we are," she replied softly. She looked up at me and quickly smiled.  
  
I took a step closer towards her. I was drowning in her, just like I told her about a year ago. "Well, good then." I replied. Ok, I felt bloody ridiculous. Here I was, standing in front of her not knowing what to say. I told her "you're all I bloody think about. Dream about. You're in my gut ... my throat ... I'm drowning in you, Summers, I'm drowning in you." And that was truer today than one year ago.  
  
  
"Spike..." she started, taking a step closer towards me. "You really aren't good with the small-talk, are you?" she asked me, smiling brightly.  
  
  
I chucked. "No, I guess not Slayer."  
  
"Call me Buffy, Spike." She said sweetly towards me.  
  
"All right then...Buffy." I looked down at her, moved my eyes to look at her lips. Her lips- I could go on and on talking about how perfect they are. The way they look as though they would contour to mine perfectly as we kissed. How her warmth in her lips might send continual chills down my spine.   
  
I remember that two weeks ago exactly, I lightly kissed her on her forehead. I thought that I would be tempting the forces of darkness and evil itself by getting that close to her. However, she allowed it. Two nights later I kissed her nose, and then 3 days later I moved over to her cheek.   
  
I never thought the slayer would let me get so close to her. And finally, the other night, I lightly brushed my lips across hers. The last time that had happened, I was in so much pain that I could barely feel her lips. The time before that, Red pulled that bloody spell where we were engaged. Looking back at that day, that was kinda...neat.   
  
In my mind, each night we got a little bit closer to love. Tonight, being the brave Big Bad that I am, I decided to make my move. I'd either be the lucky bloke, who gets to kiss her and get away with it, or get kissed and staked.   
  
I took one more step towards her and pulled her into my arms. I met my lips with hers and kissed her long and hard. Quickly, I felt Buffy respond and... What the hell? Kiss me back? I'm a lucky bloke I suppose. I felt her hands travel up my side and over to my back as I kissed her here and there.   
  
Our gentle kiss began turning into a kiss made of a fiery passion. I wrapped my arms higher around her waist, pushing her closer to me. The rest of the world disappeared around us all of a sudden, and I reveled in the feelings that she inspired within me. These were feelings that I thought I could or *should* never feel again. I lowered my hands until they rested on her hips before I felt Buffy shiver. She kissed me long and hard, her lips so tender and luscious.   
  
Buffy pulled away a couple moments later to catch her breath. "Wow," I heard her murmur under her breath, thinking I wouldn't hear.   
  
I hold her in my arms for a second more. I breathe her in and sigh from my content. I kissed her forehead and head a couple more times before looking down at her. "I love you, Buffy, you know that?" I asked.  
  
I looked down into Buffy's eyes. What was in there- love? The possibility of love? Whatever that look was in her eyes were, a gleam shone there that I hadn't seen in a long, long time. She smiled up at me. "I know," she simply replied. She glanced behind her quickly and sighed. "I guess I should go in and check on Dawn so Willow can go home."  
  
"Good idea, pet. Say 'hi' to Nibblet for me," I said coolly, backing away from her. A flicker of regret seemed to flash across her features for one second. Was that regret from me backing off?   
  
"Sure thing, Spike." Buffy replied, turning around and opening the door. She spun around and looked at me. "Good night, Spike."  
  
"G'night, love." I replied, starting to walk off her front porch steps.  
  
"And I mean it," she called out to me. "Go home, Spike. Don't say out here under that tree all night, littering the yard with your cigarette butts, just to make sure that I'm still alive and breathing." My eyes lowered. So, she was finally on to what I was going each night. "Hey, I'm back for good. No more portal-jumping, I promise." She said, smiling.   
  
"Gotcha, pet." I replied, cracking her my sly grin. Who the hell was I kidding? There was no way that I was leaving her and Nibblet alone in that house all night unprotected. So what I lied? I'd stay there all night and risk standing there until the first ray of sunlight rose in order to guard the 2 souls inside that house.  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow, Spike." Buffy replied, flashing me one more amazing smile before walking inside the doorway and closing the door.   
  
Several hours later, dawn was quickly approaching, and it was time for me to head back to my crypt. I cast another glance up at Buffy's window before slowly turning back. But hey, only about 10 more hours until I'd get to see her again, and for now at least, I can deal with that.  
  
I might not have a soul like the Poof, but you know what I do have? Buffy. I've got that amazing woman, and to me at least, that is my soul. Buffy Anne Summers is turning into the other half of me that I thought had died out that night that Drusilla came to me. And I walked back to my dusty crypt in silence, I swore that as long as Buffy walked this earth I would be by her side.  
  
  
  
The end! A sequel soon to follow! 


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